We are one day out from one of the biggest annual sporting events, the Super Bowl. Pretty much everybody loves the Super Bowl, some people watch it for their love of the game, other people watch it for the commercials, some people even watch it just for the halftime show. I know a lot of girls are going to be watching this year because of Justin Timberlake, who is now 14 years removed from ripping off a piece of Janet Jackson’s shirt and showing the entire world her titty. Will lightning strike twice? Lets hope not. Didn’t want to see Janet when she was 37 and now that she’s 51 I rather stick needles into my eyes.
But let’s focus on the actual game now and not nip slips. So we have the Philadelphia Eagles, the underdogs who have been clawing their way through the playoffs led by Napoleon Dynamite doppelgänger “Big Dick” Nick Foles. Foles took control of this offense after Carson Wentz went down with torn ACL. Wentz was shaping up to be the potential MVP of the league before going out for the remainder of the season. But Nick Foles has found that special something he had back in 2013. He threw for 27 touchdowns and only 2 interceptions and then fell off the face of the earth. He had a monster game against the Vikings crushing their dreams and gave trash bag Philly fans a reason to believe. But I hate to break it to you Rocky worshipping, cheese steak eating, battery throwing, Kelly green wearing Eagles fans. You have zero chance of winning this game.
The Patriots, the evil empire of the NFL. Led by the mastermind, cutoff sweatshirt wearing, Sith Lord Bill Belichick are not losing in the Super Bowl. Especially with the ageless Tom Brady who just doesn’t regress. The man is now forty years old and is still a top 3 quarterback in the league. It’s just insane. Rob Gronkowski was also officially cleared to play after suffering a concussion in AFC championship game. So you have a healthy Brady, his favorite target is good to go, Belichick calling the shots. Nothing could go wrong. Phillys defense might be better on paper than New England. But when it comes to those big moments when you have to look adversity in the eyes, which team is going to come back on top. The New England Patriots.
Now it kills me to say that because I’m a New York Giants fan. The team that Tom “French kiss your son” Brady can’t conquer in the big game. (Thank You Eli, you beautiful mouth breather.) But there is no shot I can root for a rival team to win, especially the Eagles. They threw snowballs at Santa Clause… who does that? Your answer. Scumbags. Trash. I could go on but I won’t. So my official prediction for the Super Bowl this Sunday is…
New England Patriots – 34
Philadelphia Eagles – 20