What a fucking bombshell! It’s 11:20 at night, I decided to be responsible for once and try and get to sleep early. I lay in bed lights off, sweatpants on, I scroll twitter and see Ken Rosenthal out here dropping god damn nukes on my timeline:
What in the actual fuck!?! We all knew the Mets were going to be heavy on their pursuits of acquiring J.T. Realmuto but shit… didn’t think they would be this heavy. The Marlins asking price for Realmuto is out of this world. They are probably just upset after they got fleeced on the deals for Stanton, Yelich and Ozuna last year. Guess they are just trying to make up ground now and save some face. What better way to do that then to take advantage of the Mets? Now the Mets don’t want to give up the farm for a catcher who’s only controlled for two years. Makes sense. So what does new general manager of the New York Mets suggest? Hey let’s trade one of our stud pitchers to that team in the Bronx and make this a nice three way.
Lets fucking get it Brodie! If you want us to toss in Clint Frazier or anybody else for that matter so you guys can get a catcher, I will gladly drive whatever fucking prospect you guys want us to toss in to Miami myself. Send over that luscious studly male version of Goldilocks over here and let him toss on those pinstripes. I mean the Yankees who are hesitating to give up Estevan fucking Florial to get Corey Kluber might have a guy like Thor dropped into their lap for basically nothing. If this three way trade happens I will start a GoFundMe to have Brodie Van Wagenen immortalized in Monument Park for the rest of eternity. What a legend. Fingers are fucking crossed.