It’s Only January And The Yankees Just Keep Getting Win After Win During The Cheating Scandal

It’s safe to say that everything that could possibly go right for the New York Yankees this offseason has gone perfectly right and then some. They landed their trophy fish of a free agent in Gerrit Cole. The Astros and Red Sox are in the midst of the biggest cheating scandal in Major League Baseball history. Sucks to suck. The Yankees offseason is being graded as an A+++++, a similar grade you would see in the holiday classic A Christmas Story.


First major win this offseason was winning the Gerrit Cole sweepstakes. Yankees fans wanted to upgrade starting pitching, well there you go, one new shiny Gerrit Cole. He came with a very pricy price tag attached to him but 100% worth it. You took one of the best starters away from one your biggest rivals, who happened to be ugly cheaters, in the American League and add him to am absolutely stacked lineup and above average rotation. That’s a win. It’s clear as day at this very moment, January 16th 2020, the Yankees are the clear favorite to win the AL East and represent the AL in the World Series. Who’s going to stop us? The cheating Astros? The depleted Red Sox? The Minnesota Twins? Nobody.

Second major win this offseason is the punishment handed down to the Houston Astros for their trash can scandal. What a bunch of idiots. I wrote about this in an earlier blog so I’ll save you the details of the actual punishment. All in all this offseason, the Astros have lost their ace, their GM and their manager AJ Hinch. I just want to go on the record and say Fuck AJ Hinch for his smug press conference when the cheating scandal was first brought up. Enjoy unemployment buddy. Without a doubt the Astros are still a very talented team without Gerrit Cole. Heir lineup is still stacked but we will see if there is a drop off in production when there is no trash can banging or slide whistles going off.

Third win of the offseason, the Boston Red Sox are fucked beyond belief. Yes Alex Cora and the Red Sox “mutually parted ways”. That’s just a fancy way of saying he was fired. Cora was basically the main conspirator of the Astros scandal and on top of that he had his own scandal in 2018 with the Red Sox. I’ll admit it, Cora was a great manager but him getting canned isn’t the main reason why the Red Sox are fucked. The Red Sox are fucked due to their idiotic contracts that they handed out after their World Series win in 2018. David Price, Chris Sale, Nathan Eovaldi all got paid! Like ridiculously paid. And now because of that the Red Sox are more or less punting away the 2020 season. They made zero big impact free agent signings. They haven’t come close to a long term contract for a All-Star Mookie Betts. They did settle on a one year deal for $27 million. Crazy town. Makes you think the Red Sox gave him that contract as a service to the fans knowing the impending fate of Alex Cora and the future state of the team.

And now, not even 10 minutes ago, Carlos Beltran stepped down as manager of the Mets after not evening coaching ONE GAME.

Comical. This cheating scandal has screwed over so many franchises, players and fans. Personally, I think Beltran shouldn’t be under any scrutiny as he was a player in 2017. That’s just my thought on it. Sucks for Mets fans that they lose out on that opportunity but the evil Yankee fan in me has to chuckle.

And for all the Red Sox, Astros and probably Mets fans now trying to call out the Yankees for being named in the report, the MLB has come out MULTIPLE times saying they are not investigating the Yankees, get over it. We’re fine. Let us win our World Series this year and just deal with the fact that your teams/players and coaches are all dirtbag cheaters.

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